Transitioning

Over the past 6 weeks our family has been moving through a time of diagnosing for my father who presented one morning with a broken left clavicle.  My father called me.  My stepmom was away visiting one of her daughters.  His call was matter of fact.  "I broke my collar bone, and I'm just calling you to tell you that I'm driving myself to the emergency room."  He mentioned that he had been working strenuously pulling down weeds and stuff and felt his collar bone snap....several days later while turning over in bed.

Our bodies are not that fragile, so I'm suspicious and I  asked him to wait and see if he could get in to see his orthopedic.  I would drive him in.

We are sitting in the waiting room and there is a man in a wheelchair.  My father leans over and says in a voice that should have been far lower than it was, "I do not want to end up in a wheelchair." 

We wait a long while, patiently, as we were worked in,  and are finally called. The doc takes xrays.  Comes back in.  "You have a pathological break.  We need to run more tests, and the coordinator will set you up for a CT scan of this break and a full bone scan."  He escorts us over, and he gets scheduled.

After the visit, my father goes to the Cremation Society and gets everything "taken care of."  (I'm realizing now where my utilitarian tendencies stem from).

The tests are done.  The results are in.  The referral to an oncologist is made.  We received a copy of the report.  I had to look up several terms, but the gist is that it appears that he has a cancerous lesions in several places (left clavicle, right hip, T-1 vertebrae and ribs). 

The oncologist visit is a bit strange.  Where as the test states that the presentation of the CT imaging might be multiple myeloma (which is not metastatic).  Blood and urine are collected.  Doctor calls and orders a full CT scan.  "A lesion is found on the liver" my father says.  (A lesion and a hypodense mass 1 and hypodense mass 2 were found on his liver). They are going to do a biopsy on my liver."

Well, there is no liver biopsy, but rather they take a bone marrow biopsy (but my dad thinks they took a liver biopsy later, and I'm just damned unclear where these ideas come from as they are not supported by the tests.  Another followup visit with the oncologist.  Diagnosis:  Stage IV liver cancer (hepatic carcinoma).  No treatment that will help with but adding a couple of miserable months to life.  Call hospice.

Hospice is called. With the social worker and nurse present, we work out our guiding principles so that we are in understanding of what my Dad's wishes are:  no treatment; palliative care only.  My stepmom states, "I'm the boss."  I say, "Nope, Dad's the boss; and our job is simply to honor his wishes."  We discuss when there might be treatment for pneumonia (if lucid) and when not (when not lucid).  That any secondary conditions he can seek treatment to relieve symptoms which is part of palliative care--boils down to, non-cancer related things will have symptoms treated to allow one to get on with the business of dying without being uncomfortable.

So here we are, getting on with the business of dying.  Hospice plan in place?  Check.  Burial arrangements made?  Check. Hospital bed?  Check.  Financial stuff figured out?  Almost.  Trepidation on the future weeks/months?  Check.

I will move back home to assist my stepmom who has taken very good care of my father for these last 25 years.  I will be 56 years old this year.  I am the age that my mother was when she died.  It is likely that my father will die while I'm at this age, and that just feels weird to me.

I'm really proud of my dad for facing this so objectively.  Seeing this brings back all of the unpleasant stuff with my mother's cruel death from lung cancer.  I asked my father to do one thing during this time:  to take his pain meds (which my mom did not do).  I would not let my dog die the way my mother die.  I don't plan on witnessing such an event again, and none should ever have to.

So begins our journey.


Backsplash | Or....amateur calculations on tile needs

My backsplash is in, and it looks terrific.  I have lots of linear feet of kitchen countertops--not that my kitchen is all that big, but when I designed it 30+ years ago, I wanted a kitchen that opened up into our great room--I was ahead of the times, then with a great room and an open kitchen.

As my tile man was 3/4 of the way down the main drag in the kitchen, he asked me, "How much tile do you have left?"  It was clear that I had not ordered enough.  I was 6 ft short--or six pieces of tile.  Let me tell you how I erred.

I thought that I had done this the right way....I measured the inches of length, multiplied by the inches of height and divided by 144" to get square feet.  I then applied a waste factor (he told me to use 10%--some applications, such as a diagonal require 15%.  I had 27 ft and bought 30 sqf.

Thankfully, Lowe's had my tile in stock.  I'll tell you this....you can buy tile cheaper at Lowes--to include the transition pieces--cheaper than I can get with a contractor's discount at a tile store.  However, for MOST of my renovation projects, I scour the back room of  Best Tile where I can snag a deal and get really nice stuff for a fraction of the cost.  Then I can splurge on expensive insets.  While I was at Lowe's, they had pencil moulding for less than 1/2 what I bought it for.

I wanted to understand the error of my calculations.  It was simple--when measuring a run (length) you have to round UP to ensure that you have a full tile measurement.  Meaning, if you have 12" tile and your run is 40", you will need to make that run 48 to account for a full tile (e.g. something divisible by 12").  Accordingly if your tile were a 4" tile, you would be okay as you can divide by 4 and get a whole number.  I had 6 runs--hence, I was 6 tiles short before calculating overage to match the pattern.  (my tile was 12" tall, and I had a 14.5" space).  Because the tile was a mosaic, one has to match the pattern correctly--pattern comes in color pattern (of which my tile was truly random) and size pattern.  My tile had a distinct size pattern.

Now pattern is important. My tile men know that I'm the Rainwoman of being able to spot a pattern deviation. The were installing a beautiful wall of random stone and glass (with a not so random pattern).  I walked into the room and immediately noted the problem.  The were incredulous, because they had been so careful.  Well, they were more careful than the time manufacturer because the error was in the individual sheet!  They still remember that--and we spent some time discussing the nature of this tile for my backsplash.

I have to admit that with everything off of my counters, this tile looked quite stark against my alderwood cabinets...so much to the point, that I was wondering if I had made a mistake in my choice.  Sure, it looked terrific with the Corian countertops, but my cabinets looked too traditional. Further, I have a warmer tone in my great room, and I was wondering if I had created a jarring look between the open kitchen and my great room.

Much sighing and hand wringing.

Well, once I started populating my countertops, the back splash now created a lovely backdrop for my appliances, and did not jar so much.  But still...I wonder....

I have a six foot window in the kitchen that I have to repaint to a white.  First, I have to rebuild the sill which was split due to the thickness of the walls of our house (6" framing).  The sill extension line has always been a problem--visible, shaggy looking.  After digging it out (razor knife, 5in1 tool and my Porter Cable tool), I know why.  I believe my prior painter (not me) jammed joint compound to fill the joint. Joint compound is not a wood filler. 

I primed the sill before I repaired it--to give the wood fill some purchase.  I wood filled the 6 foot seam, let it dry and then sanded with orbital sander.  I will prime today.  I de-glossed the existing paint (for some reason I thought high gloss on the trim was a good idea) with some Will-Bond.  Noxious but effective.

I have so many things to tick off my project list.   As the say goes

A journey of a thousand paint projects begins with figuring out your paint colors--and then kicking your butt into gear.

Home Stuff-Kitchen Backsplash

Elida Ceramica Bianca Blended Linear Mosaic Natural Stone Marble Wall Tile
After 31 years, I'm finally getting my kitchen backsplash.  I have selected this Elida natural stone and marble tile.  It will go well with my Corian black with white flecked  countertop.  I'm electing to leave the current backsplash in place rather than cut it down to the horizontal level.

I'm not attempting to do this on my own, but rather to have my tile man put it in for me.  I'll save money by painting!

We are undertaking various projects to get some niggling things taken care of.  I have always wanted a backsplash, but have not found anything that I liked. 

Home Stuff--Upholstered bench

We have been in our home for 31 years this year.  Over that time, I have accumulated projects, and I'm starting to pick at them one by one.  Over this weekend, I upholstered a bench seat in a Pennsylvania House ball and claw footed bench that I had acquired.  I think that I got it at a thrift store, and it was in excellent shape--it just had a teal sueded material on top.  I found a beautiful fabric at Artee Fabric in a 'spiroflora' design on a slate background.  It is sumptuous and the colors really look great against cherry.  Here is the fabric in a different color scheme.
  
The hardest part of the job was centering the fabric design on the bench.  It is a spiroflora  design with a pattern that has two distinctive repeats for tandem rows.  Getting it right (centered design with even repeat across section) on the top had the side looking like it was not centered.  Getting it centered on the side had the top looking hinky.  I elected to get the top centered.  See my point on the design reveal on the side?  The fabric was 8.95 per yard--a terrific discount.  The one above was nabbed from a website at $95/yard.


Thrift Store Finds

Yesterday, I was fixin to get ready to sand my trim as part of my painting prep of my great room, and I smartly decided to call my friend Nancy.  Nancy lives in Williamsburg, about 40 minutes away.  She is one of my oldest and dearest friends (28 years).  I asked her if she wanted to have lunch. at our favorite Thai restaurant.  She said yes, enthusiastically.

I introduced Nancy to Thai food 3-4 years ago.  My favorite dish, which I suggested that she try, is the red curry with coconut milk, bamboo shoots, mushrooms, peppers and basil.  She fell in love, and we both enjoy eating at various Thai restaurants.

I say, 'smartly decided' as I'm still nursing a sore back, so sanding trim (baseboard, windows and crown) would not have been such a smart thing to do.  No need for a set back on my sore back healing.  (I did finish painting the monstrosity that caused it).

After lunch, we elected go go thrift store shopping.  I typically never shop with other people.  I like to take my time and not feel that another is bored or worse impatiently bored.  Nancy was neither, and she was delightful company as always.

We went to 2 CHKD Thrift stores and 2 other Thrift stores.  Here are my finds:

  • A never used Schlemmertopf Cooker. It has glazing inside v. my Rommertopf.  At $13, a steal and something that I will enjoy using.

    • Wood Thrush, Antique Print.  Framed.  $42

    The Wood Thrush is one of my favorite birds.  I eagerly await its arrival in spring when it begins calling exactly the same time each year:  the third week in April.  As I inspected my print at home, I noted that it had a notation in the right corner:  Chromolith. J. Bien 1860.

    Upon further research, it appears that I have a half sheet of a J. Bien edition Audubon print.  It is one half of a double print, with the Hermit Thrush being the left side of the plate.   On this double horizontal print, the plate bears the Audubon attribution on the left and the J. Bien edition on the right.  So unless one looked it up, one wouldn't know what it was.  Accordingly if one had the Hermit Thrush, the 'edition' would not be known.

    To be sure the print has not been well cared for, but it is beautiful nonetheless.  I will get it better situated so that it will last for many years to come.  I am so happy to own the uber-vintage print of one of my favorite birds.

    P. S.  I have taken this to a framer to have it re-situated.  The original mat, like many of older eras is acid paper. So, I'm having it rematted, losing the plywood and getting a core back and having UV glass.  The binding edges were evident in the print.  I'm looking forward to getting my print back.

    Internet Circus



    Here's a list of six things that some people may want to look up on CNN.  I truly detest these stupid internet tricks to cultivate web views:

    1. Who would wait six months for a frickin' hoodie?  And really, who cares?
    2. Cultivating traffic to look for cheaters?  
    3. The Olson twins?  Really?
    4. I'm sure that there are lots of things that I don't know and don't care about flying in planes, and I'm happy to keep it at that.
    5. Geez, dead celebrities in coffins?
    6. Duggar family secrets that will send chills down my spine?  Nope.
     Sigh....