Shame

(If you are looking for something salacious here, move along!)

Last evening I was unusually wakeful, and I watched "Summer Pasture" on PBS.  It was an intimate look at nomadic yak herders.  Filmed in an unobtrusive way, in their tent and alongside their daily work, it recorded the lives of Yama and Locho (and their baby).

I was captivated by the film because I was reminded that before our modern conveniences, the 'business of life' centered on the performance of an long and sometimes arduous string of necessary tasks that must be performed in order to survive.  With each passing minute of the film, my admiration for this couple and their cherubic daughter grew along with my shame for my own undone chores around my comfy home.  My undone chores result in a messy house--their undone chores results in their not having a meal, fire or a home.

As it was late, and I still had a bed to make, and I did not watch beyond the first hour. I woke up with the same feeling as I had when I went to bed--a strong sense of the courage and grace in which these people faced the hardship of their daily lives.  I also admired the casually spoken, but very deep wisdom of Yama who carried out her exhausting daily routine with a deep sense of devotion and acceptance.

This was not a culture of striving, but of surviving.  To be sure, human DNA is the same everywhere, and given the right environment, striving (status) always has a Maslowesque way of rearing its head.  And somewhere along the way we stratify our societies with those who perform the purest task of all--surviving--or producing goods/services to help the rest survive--on the bottom.

My shame, then, is both personal and collective--and from it I cannot escape.  I'm grateful, though, that I can feel it.  Exploring our humanity and understanding it not only requires us to learn and understand the cultures of others, but also to discover and reflect upon the common intersects and juxtapositions that help us reflect on our own circumstance (warts and all!).


Slate of Events, Part 2

This is Part 2 of my slate saga.....

I spent the better part of yesterday doing a final cleaning of the 504 sqf of tile and 27 sqf of backsplash at my SR project.  I was on my hands and knees (kneeling on a gardening board), with a scrub brush, a bucket of water and a grout sponge.  I was washing off the final haze of grout.  When I got home I could hardly move.  This a.m. I'm 'pleasantly' sore.  The nice thing about a 'work'-out....a time when you are actually performing work...is that you have something to show for it!  Arms, buttocks and quads get a great workout performing this task.

After the floor was installed, Mike 2 and I were chatting.  The refrain of "it's gonna be rough" in our song and dance on this slate was relative to the surface of the tile (rather than entire installation).  Well, yes, it is a clefted face, so I knew that it it wouldn't be smooth.  However, apparently even though the material presents itself as textured through the clefting, some consumers believe that it will be a smooth floor.  So.....'it's gonna be rough' was a CYA refrain on the tiler's part.  Accordingly, as I was expecting 'rough' (appropriately so), adding another layer of 'it's gonna be rough' was unnerving.

The quite pleasant part of my slate cleaning was marveling at the glorious colors (they are muted colors and not quixotic colors!) and patterns in this slate.  Each is like a miniature work of art, and the beauty of them is just breathtaking.  To be sure, I'm having some second-guessing my choice, but it is a material of enduring beauty and quality.  I walked on it in my bare feet, and it was very comfortable.  Unless you have experienced slate, you don't realize that it is quite soft for a stone material.  Sitting/standing on slate is not the same thing as sitting/standing on ceramic or porcelain tile--a bit like asphalt v. concrete. 

There is still some grout residue stubbornly clinging to some of the ridges.  I'm committed to having these tiles in pristine condition before sealing.   My situation is not horrible in the least...but I want a little cleaner finish than I currently have.

I met Mike 1 at the site today to discuss.  He uses sulfamic acid crystals. I couldn't get it at the tile store.  Looks like Home Depot sells it.  I'm going to try The Aldon, Grout Release, which product claims to be stronger (though you can vary the dilution with the crystals) that sulfamic acid, as effective as but safer than muriatic acid.  In the home that I grew up in, the tile folks used muriatic acid in the wrong concentration and etched the tile in the main bathroom.  I may do a side by side test of the Aldon product and the sulfamic acid product. 

My husband wonders out loud, "Why are you doing this?" (Rather than let others do it).

I guess, the reason is because I still can.  








Slate of Events on Renovations Part 1

This week saw much transformation on two of my active projects.  On FD, there is a coat of paint on most everything except the wainscoting downstairs--though that has Cover Stain on it.  The electrician (grousing, fuss bucket who is also my husband!) was over there yesterday changing all of the electrical receptacles and light switches.  He said with disgust, "I have never seen so much nasty 'sh*t' behind the switches and the receptacles; what were those people doing in that house?"  Nasty is the operative word, but all of the nastiness has been banished this weekend.  He found several 'back stabbed' electrical outlets--a short cut wiring technique that is dangerous. A couple of the devices had insulation that had melted.  All that has been fixed.

The ReSource store came buy to pick up some extra stuff--Hardie Backer board that my tile man did not want to use (he prefers Durock).  I also had a sink top that had a small crack in the backsplash.  They almost didn't take it for the small crack.  This is a brand new top with a repairable crack v. some of the crap that I have seen in their store.  I wasn't planning to spend any time repairing it as it was freight damage.  But at almost $300, someone could get a $20 repair kit and have a beautiful integrated sink top. (I'm actually going to go by there and see that/if it sells.)

My sister is in town, so we took a trip to my SR job.  I had not seen the final product of the backsplash and slate grouted.  I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that my grout choice for both the backsplash and the slate  (which I had to make unassisted) would fall short of my expectations.

Tale of the slate:  My slate choice, a clefted slate, was not the best choice.  Oh, it is quite beautiful, but there was some irregularity in the tile that required more management. On Tuesday, I was talking to two installers, both with great experience.  "It's gonna be rough," they both agreed.  I'm left with trying to decipher exactly what "it's gonna be rough" means.  I'm learning a few things in dealing directly with tradesmen, and I've written about them here.

  • Thing 1:  They each have their own preferences (paint, mortar, Durock v. Hardie backer)
  • Thing 2:  They each have a different idea of the best application (no, don't put Coverstain over virgin drywall; yes, it is okay to put Coverstain over virgin drywall).
  • Thing 3: They really don't know how much or how little you know, and for the most part will err on the side of your being a total dumb ass.

For the most part, I have a pretty clear idea of knowing what I don't know--and that does elevate one's status. (Though I suffer from the malady at times of not knowing what I don't know--a blissful place until it bites you in the ass).  So as I'm standing in the kitchen with my stomach in a knot wondering if my 4,000 pounds of clefted slate was a major mistake, I'm trying to ask the right qualifying questions in order to ascertain my current risk status on this decision.  It is going to cost me far more to put this material down than it will to order new material, so this is important.

"What does, 'It is gonna be rough mean?' Is anyone going to catch their toe?" 

"No," they replied.

"Is it going to look weird or be unlevel?--because I'm asking you to spend more time (for which I will pay you) to make up for the irregularity in the product?  If I've made a mistake,  I'm trusting you to tell me that."  I say all this with great seriousness to give them license to say that I've made a mistake because I'm willing to admit that.

"No, it is going to be beautiful when it is down We hate to see you not use your product, and we can make it work."  (Redemption!.). . . ." --but it's gonna be rough." (Geez, they we are again.)

My stomach is in a knot, and  my head is starting to hurt imagining my other alternatives (like moving 4000 lbs of slate from the jobsite), having to reconsider my central design element (the slate which ties into the cabinets which ties into the backsplash).

Mike 2 (I have two tile Mike's) says, "Let's lay the kitchen floor first; you come by after lunch and take a look at it. If you don't like it, we will not run it into the den."

Now, that is very thoughtful and efficacious reasoning.

Thursday afternoon comes by, and I do by the jobsite.  Oh, I loved what I saw.  Mike 2 said, "I knew once you saw it down, you were going to tell us to run it into the den."

My task then was to get grout for the backsplash and grout for the slate.  Here's the final course of slate being laid  in the den. Note the brick on the fireplace....the slate looks terrific with it and provides a warm, rustic look.  The trim and the wainscoting still need to be painted--but I likely have to rip them out first as the surfaces of "freshly painted --totally screwed up non--prepped surfaces" are totally useless--and I'm unprepared to saddle a new owner with this problem.  I want my projects to be quality renovations...not covering sh*t with snow (as my Armenian grandmother would call this paint job on the trim.)

The wall color is Benjamin Moore's Winter Wheat... a lovely, soft neutral.  The trim will be painted Crisp Khaki.



Ungrouted Slate
 And here is the kitchen floor being grouted.  I chose a Mapei Sahara Beige for the floor and "Pewter" for the backsplash.
Ungrouted Slate and Glass/slate mosaic tile

The slate and the backsplash has really made the cherry cabinets "pop"--in a way that reminds me that I need to spend some quality time cleaning them.

Now here is another "preference" that I had to contend with.  Mike 1 said that the slate had to be sealed before it was grouted and then sealed again.  Mike 2 said that it did not.  When I had the slate in my home installed, they did not seal it first.  I sealed it after it was grouted.  Now, I'm caught in that miasmic cloud of semi-ignorance where I at least know that it can be successfully done without sealing, but that there is a body of evidence out there that reasonably suggests otherwise.  The differentiating factor?  It is all in how you grout.  And you'd best have a bucket and sponge person wiping up the grout.  (Which is what Mike 2 did).

I visited yesterday with my sister who is in from Bedford,  and the grout color on the backsplash and floor are just perfect. "I'm really terrified of making a mistake," I remarked to my sister as I was cleaning a bit of the backsplash.  "I'm the same way," she said knowingly.

It really is not a good way to be!  Optimization and pefectionism are not the same thing...and the latter can be paralyzing, while the former is the ideal.


I feel like I had optimized choices.  I'm sure that my slate choice will not mesh with some potential buyers, but it was the material of choice to achieve the type of rustic harmony that I was looking for. It will provide a slip-resistant and easy-to-clean surface, it will be softer underfoot than tile, and it will be a lifetime floor.  I took my shoes off and walked on the floor in my bare feet (I'm always barefoot in my home).  The tiles passed that test!

Now, I'm going to go and clean them a bit more....









Vanity

Well...not the one of the 7 deadly sins....but rather of the bathroom kind........

With the SR master bath stripped down to its bare essence of studs, pipe and plywood and rag-tag insulation, I've spent many, many hours looking at all manner of bathroom vanities.  It is a traditional home, and I had planned to go with a traditional vanity.  Unfortunately, the space is very narrow, and I have no plans on amplifying it.

My goal on all of my projects is to upgrade and beautify the existing space.  The homes so far are well-laid out, and their space is usable. However, the existing components are battle/life-worn, requiring repair or replacement.  That takes lots of dollars.  My guess is that if someone is looking for all of the amenities--to include more modern floor plans, they will be buying a newer home.  Therefore, my plan is simply to repair and beautify the existing space while staying true to the home's 'bones'.

Because the master bath is so small, going with a traditional vanity would just take up too much space.  Narrow vanities, did not quite fit the bill, and all of them still would go down to the floor.  As with my quest on finding the perfect kitchen backsplash, I embarked on another quest to find the perfect bathroom vanity.  My wonderful designer friend, Nan, keeps me tethered and gives me honest feedback when I say, "What do you think about this?"

After visiting many, many sites on line and looking at what I'm sure was more than a thousand vanities, this vanity made me stop.  It is Virtu USA's Carmine 48" Wall mounted vanity set.  It is made of solid oak (more on that), has a marble top and comes with a faucet and the mirror.

I fell in love with the soft color and the clean lines. Now, the quest is shifting to finding the right tile to make this bathroom special. Having an anchor point, the vanity, will help narrow choices.  For the tiny 32x35" shower, I want to use a natural rock (pebble) for the base.  Beyond that, I have no ideas.  The internet has many ways to find inspiration, which is both good and bad.  Good, in that there is lots to choose from, and bad in that there is lots to choose from.

I find that my ideas about this 'stuff' evolve, and my gut (and Nan) always tell me when I have found just the right thing.  To this vanity and my question, she replied, "That works and really looks good."  To another finding that I lobbed her way, she said (with polite disgust), "It represents the combination of two incompatible elements and neither of them good." (or something to that effect).  I measured my bathroom space, called my plumber to make sure that I was not committing an egregious plumbing sin and ordered the Virtu vanity.

I'm liking the tumble stone to the right as a consideration for flooring.  I want to create a nice harmony.  Too often, I see a mix of colors and shapes that appear jarring to my eye.....too many different styles of tile/stone/glass leave my eyes all googlie.  I'm looking for harmony...I hope to find it. 

Now I'm off to check on three projects.




A Cornucopia of Tradesmen

I have been waiting for rainy day painters for most of April.  With the rain this week, I ended up with an abundance of painters at both my FD and SR jobs.  I also had my contractor out demolishing the master bath.



Courtesy of a sledge hammer, the shovel that you see, 5 gallon buckets and many trips down the stairs to the dumpster, the bathroom was taken down to the studs with nary a tell-tale spec of ceramic to give a hint of what was previously there.


The insulation on the left (top photo)  was completely gone courtesy of mice over many, many years.  And that copper piping would make a copper thief salivate!  When my contractors were done, they were very tired--and the entire master bath was neat as a pin.  I've not settled on how I'm going to re-tile it...but 

I am now at a point on my FD job, that rooms are getting finished.  It is a good feeling to see pieces of the job coming to completion.  As with all things, the devil is in the details....and the small things can trip you up.