Aftermath of Macy's Demise

Our household is adjusting to being one man down with Macy's recent passing.  Our hearts are heavy.  The remaining two dogs, my setters Daisy and Ella, are settling into a 2-pack mode v. a 3-pack mode.  Our Macy was a vibrant team member until about 2 months ago.  Naturally, I'm a little reflective, and I wanted to share the products of that reflection.  Hindsight is always 20-20. Oftentimes, we do not now what 'we are adding up to' when presented with discrete bits of observations.

Today as I write, I'm convinced that Macy had a brain tumor.  What started 7 weeks ago as a head-scratching retching episode that oddly began a serialized change in Macy's behavior, is now, post euthanasia, solidified as a symptom a brain tumor. 

About 7 weeks ago, she then presented symptoms of vomiting.  She threw up dried leaf trash (copious amounts of leaf debris which was odd and alarming), and I was concerned that she had a blockage.  I took her to the vet.  They monitored her for the day, and we were told that there was no blockage.  Over the course of a few days she recovered gastronomically--with an occasional episode; however, she seemed forever changed after that visit. Prior to that, we did not notice anything more than slightly more aggressive front door behavior with Daisy.  But hard to put in perspective as sometimes that behavior could be quite explosive in younger years.

Rather, post retching visit, I noticed changes in behavior that were mild at first blush--those nuanced things, that just make you go, "Huh? v HUH!"  She was lethargic--sleeping quite late and having to be rousted out of the bed (she was sleeping in the bed as she had since she was a puppy up until a month ago when she no longer went up the steps). The behavior oddities expanded to present the following:
  • paced through the house with no sense of purpose;
  • difficulty in approaching doorways;
  • stopped coming upstairs to sleep in the bed;
  • disoriented/mildly anxious outside -- would walk aimlessly with no sense of purpose, and would not remember to go to the bathroom
  • lethargic:  She would not get up unless physically roused;
  • lack of comfort posture when resting:   did not look like she was resting in comfortable positions--never seemed truly relaxed (as we all know that dogs can do quite well).
  • No reaction to her name being called.  (She could see/hear);
  • depression:  no interaction with us:  no joy in seeing us, except for a few glimmers of joy. The desire for ball play, the center of her fun, was gone.  I threw her a ball last week and she went after it -- and it gave me some hope.  But that was a glimmer.  Another day, all she did was stop it.
  • Reduced interest in food outside of dinner time.  Though even to the end she had SOME interest in getting to lick a plate.  But it was a shadow of her previous enthusiasm.
  • increased thirst (though this is a retrospective view)
  • urinating/defecating inside after being put out to 'do business' (something she never did);
  • no vocalization (no growling, no barking--this non-behavior from a dog that was vigilant in barking/growling AT EVERYTHING the moved in her field of vision:  squirrels, vehicles (especially the UPS, trash and postal vehicles).

There was no improvement, only degradation, in all of these presentments--and all of these after the retching -- or were mild enough prior to that event and escaped our notice.  She did not present any pain symptoms. I wondered if there was such a thing as canine cognitive disorder.  There is, and she had all of the signs.  I made an appointment with my vet to rule out any other physical issues (hip/leg issues) and to discuss her symptoms.  Outside of a little arthritis in her knee and being overweight, she was in very good shape.  Unless we wanted to spring for the cost of an MRI ($4K), there was little to do diagnosis wise for the cognitive issue.  (Yes, you can get expensive Alzheimer's medication which helps 65% of the canine patients show improvement in at least one of the 10 symptom--that's not really a treatment but a crap shoot).  

Coincidentally, that evening after visiting the vet, Macy had her first seizure that we had witnessed. Mark slept on the couch with her to monitor her.  (Macy had done her couch duty during some of Mark's injuries/maladies).   The next morning she had another.  I made an appointment for euthanasia, as I realized that Macy's condition had deteriorated dramatically. My vet was full, but they were going to work me in.  Another violent, longer seizure, and I called to get in sooner.  She passed peacefully -- an ending that any of us deserve.

Post-euthanasia, I reviewed the literature on canine brain tumors (they are quite common in dogs apparently).  There is quite a bit of overlap between the canine cognitive disorder and brain tumor symptoms.  Her condition, then, was bookended by the retching at first presentation and the seizures at last presentation and the other behavioral changes and aimless pacing in between.  Given that the median survival rate is 50% after 3 months, the escalation of her symptoms makes sense. 

If you are interested in finding out more about canine brain tumors, I found this site at NC State University. They also have clinical trials.  Had I known about their clinical research, I would have submitted Macy for an autopsy (so long as I could get her back).  If you have found this post through your own personal experience with your beloved pet, I wish you well.  As pet owners, we have the opportunity to give our beloved pets a dignified end.  I have had to say goodbye to so many over the years.  And I believe in the saying that a week too early is better than a day too late when it comes to euthanasia.


Saying Goodbye

Today we had to say goodbye to our beloved American Bulldog mix girl, Macy.

Macy arrived 8 years ago as a peanut-sized puppy, full of charm and teeth.  From day three, she slept with us in our bed up until just a couple of weeks ago when she no longer would go up the stairs.

I say day three, because I caved on day three, no longer able to listen to her pitiful cries for companionship and the afforded comfort. From peanut to overgrown pumpkin, that dog shared our bed.  In the last 2 months she became not herself.  It is as if someone stole her and substituted her for a dog that looked like her but was not her.  There was no joy.  No recognition of us, or even happiness to see us.  She would not get off the sofa unless required to do so. 

She was at the vet just two months ago with throwing up.  Blood work was done, so there was nothing evil (lymes etc) there.  After researching canine cognitive dysfunction, she showed all of the symptoms.  At the vet yesterday, I discussed these symptoms.  Brain tumor was mentioned as possible causation, and at a cost of $4,000 for an MRI, we agreed that this would not be the course of action that we would start.  Rather, we would ensure that she was comfortable.

Last evening she had the first seizure that we had witnessed.  Today, there were two more.  AFter the first, we agreed that we would have her euthanised.  My vet was booked but could work me in at 3:30.  Another violent attack at 2 prompted a call to see if we could get in earlier.  These violent seizures were identical to Lucy's.   When we witnessed her seizure, she came out of the first one, and never came out of the last one. After witnessing Lucy's seizures, we realized that she must have had these before.  We would find her asleep in her dog bed, soaking wet.  We chalked it up to her being old.  However, when we saw her seizure and the spray from the violence of it, we realized what had likely happened before.

Seeing Macy with these same seizures brought a flood of memories back.  As Mark and I were reflecting last evening after he came to bed from sitting up with Macy to ensure that there was not another recurrence, we have not heard one vocalization from Macy in over a month.  Not a growl, not a bark, not a whimper.  Even the UPS truck, her arch enemy of the past, didn't elicit anything but a look when she was outside yesterday.

So we gave her the dignified way out.  All the things that she enjoyed doing were no longer a joy.  Even Lucy to the last hour of her life was happy to see us and relished her food.  Sure, she  she rested most of the day as was her right.  But she got up and went outside and enjoy a brief walk and the presence of her family. 

Macy, though, had clearly passed through some veil that forever cloaked the dog that she was.  We were unwilling to witness other episodes because they put her at risk of injury (falling from the sofa to the floor) in the event that we could not be there to catch her and keep her out of harms way.  Nor could we risk the unending seizure that required trip to the emergency vet in the untoward hours of the night. 

Had she not been forever hidden from us from the unfolding of whatever health event she experienced, perhaps a different decision would have been made.  But she had been lost to us for a couple of months, and her then she fell off of the proverbial cliff.  These seizures merely solidified that it was time.

We were the center of her universe.  And when she passed, we could say that she was always much beloved, and lived the happiest life we or any could give her.  IN the end, we should be able to say that to all who come into our lives.




Spring Forward | Pomo-DO!

Tonight we Spring forward, losing a precious hour of sleep and gaining a welcomed hour of daylight.  Each year the change gets a wee bit more difficult.  There is still snow lingering; but with temperatures in the mid-60's today, not for long.

I have a second week of Pomodoro time inculcation under my belt.  I found a tool that has an integrated phone/desktop app   http://www.teamviz.com/help/pomodoro-timer-for-windows-7/  It's not the greatest app, but it has planning features that the others don't.  Sadly it does not have some customization features that others have.



If anything, this technique builds a mind memory (e.g. muscle memory for your brain!)of what you can(not) do in 25 minutes.  This week, I used it to build a task list within a large project.  Generally, my habit (and it is not a very good one) is to hurl myself into a project (or maybe lurch like a bulldozer getting in gear).  And while being a bulldozer allows one to accomplish quite a bit, all that shoveling and pushing gets tiresome.

But this Pomodoro technique is very much a new trick for this old dog.  And my only wish is that I had found it sooner.  This technique is not an all or nothing implementation--though as I read around the web, I see that some have classified it this way.  Frankly, I have found it a little daunting trying to integrate it into my entire day.  But that is my goal.  Rather, I will suggest how one can ease into the Pomodoro Technique.

Here's how to start your own Pomo-DO! habits.

Objective:  Use the Pomodoro technique to manage some aspect(s) of your day where you need to overcome inertia, or simply get something out of the way.

Tools needed:  A timer that visually and/or audibly (preferably both) that will register 25 minutes.  (Here's two resource links, one for your computer; one for your phone)

Method:  Identify 3 items in everyday life that you wish to apply 25 minutes of your focused time and energy.   Pick something that is providing you with some daily anxiety-- full email in box, mail piled up, laundry piled up, room that needs cleaning, project that needs starting but you just have not sat down to scope it out.  The important thing is that you will allow yourself no interruptions.  No bathroom.  No drink.  No email.  (Though watching TV and laundry go hand in hand!)

Clock Setting:  25 minutes.  Go!  Fold, clean, cook, manage email, start your project plan (heck start your project list!).  Tick tock.  You can here the clock ticking, so you are cognizant of every second.

RINGGGG.  Write down what you accomplished.  How you felt.  Gage what you produced.

Yield:  25 minutes of uninterrupted productivity in the task that you outlined.

For my everyday Pomo-DO!, I have the following:
  • day planning (25 minutes to plan my day -- what projects to scope, budget, perform and finish)
  • exercise (25 minutes of outside time (no matter what the weather))
  • cleaning (25 minutes of picking up or cleaning).

What does 25 minutes a day get you in time currency for the week:
  •   2.92 hours of exercise
  •   2.92 hours of cleaned space
  •   2.92 hours of thoughtfully planned daily time allocation.  We have 16 hours a day.  For a week we have 112 hours of time.  If we spend just 2.92 hours a week planning  (2.62% of our available time) that time, just think how much more productive we would be.
 I have some time still before this focus becomes a habit.  I'm committed to starting week three.  I'm finding this a very fun and engaging way to manage my time. A reminder of my heart rate monitoring for exercise that kept me engaged and focused on continuous improvement. 

(P. S.  I found that a watch that is ticking fast (2x per second) produces a stress response in me v. a second by second tick.  Consider that as you choose your techniqe.

I've spent 2 v. the 1 pomo budgeted on this blog post (because I did some more 'research').  I've already done my exercise pomo.  Now to clean.  I have 3 Pomo's scheduled for that today.
 



Notes from the Field: Pomodoro Inculcation

On February 19 I wrote about beginning my journey into Pomodoro-land. I've been experimenting with different applications for my Android phone.  There are desktop applications, but I'm not always at the same desktop.  My phone, though, is always with me.

While I like many of the features of Clockwork Tomato, I'm now using the following timer.

The benefit of this timer over Clockwork Tomato is that it has a task list, and it tracks your expected v. your actual pomos for a particular task.  As I mentioned in my initial post, I'm looking for a way to solve the paradox of (1) not beginning an activity AND (2) not stopping an activity.  This method is a great trick to get started on a task.  That the portion of the task started will only be 25 minutes, it is a great way to make yourself get started.

In addition to using this application as an aid to START something (v. fixin' to get ready to start something) as well as a lifeline to get out of a rabbit hole of an engrossing project, using the planning feature of expected time (in terms of number of Pomos) v. actual time.  It is a technique to train the brain to think about time.

A thing to be improved is a thing to be measured.  Accordingly, running the 50 yd dash and completing a routine report are both items that can be measured and times improved.  I've long had the discipline (only through impatience and disdain for routine) of taking routine tasks and making them quickly dispatched.  However, such improvements were vague as I have not measured the differential between the old way and the new way.

I realize that all of 'this' is simply imposing a structure over the normal course of events that unfold in a day.  But for anyone who has seriously struggled with overcoming the inertia of getting an unpleasant project out of the way (or simply underway), a single Pomodoro can be the lubricant needed to ease you into your project, if only to plan it.

I've been using the Pomo timer over the last few days to excavate my desk (and the surrounding area of my office).  It is not a pleasant task, but armed with my Pomodoro, fresh files, my Brother P-touch labeler, a shred container and a recycle container, I have moved mountains of paper --and the attendant psychological baggage that accompanies such pulp.  (I'm officially at the end of my Pomo alloted to write this post).  I'm going to cheat and use part of my break time to write these last couple of sentences.)

I'm not done, and I underallocated my Pomos.  But I have 2 more MAX pomos left on this unpleasant task.   The task that seemed overwhelming (and it surely was) was made less so by attacking it in manageable increments.
Cover art
If your natural proclivities are such that you need aids to be more in control of your life (because you are so highly intelligent, interested in everything, thinking all of the time, and lighting form subject to subject so facilely that you REALLY NEED HELP GETTING YOUR BRAIN TO STAY PUT, then I highly recommend this technique.  You can download a PDF and a cheat sheet here to get started (from the original source, no copyright issues. 

All you need is 25 minutes to get started. 

1.  Get the app for your smartphone OR download one of the many timers on the web for your computer.

2.  Click on the link above for the PDF and the cheat sheet

3.  Be flexible - not all aspects of your work life can be pomo'd.  But you can pomo MANY things (such as doing your tax return; cleaning; exercising; going through mail etc).


Mind like tomato:  Tick!  Tock!

P. S.  The pile on my desk is not 2 inches.  It is FRACTIONAL to what it was.  

Mother Nature's Proclivities

March is supposed to be "in like a lion and out like a lamb".  On Sunday, we had a balmy 73 degree day -- a perfect tease for spring-like weather-- only to be reminded that Mother Nature's entitled to her weather proclivities. 

Monday brought plunging temperatures, sleet, then snow. Richmond, VA came just one degree shy of beating a long-standing March 3 low temperature.  It is cold.

We've been putting sweet corn out for the deer.  They are enjoying it.  Hopefully it is enough to get one or two by during this acornless winter. (As from the few tracks, it appears that the 'they' is a duo or less).  Nevertheless, deer found this small patch of food. 

Female Red-winged Black Bird | Dick Daniels
Did you know that acorns are called a mast crop, with 'mast' being the bounty of trees and shrubs that feed wildlife? 

Yesterday, I spied a red winged black bird on the feeder  There were some grackles and other blackbirds in addition to this bird to the left milling below the feeder and on the plywood surface that we used to help keep a clear surface for feeding.  I spent some time looking for what type of bird it was. She is a female red-winged blackird.   I was glad to finally figure it out.

All of the birds are displaying good manners.  Patiently waiting turns on the feeders, and not being aggressive on the ground feeding.  I just came back in (I took a brief feeding interlude for both myself and the birds!) from sprinkling more black oil seed on the ground a filling the feeders with same.  Earlier, I made a concoction of Crisco, peanut butter and millet seed mix.  I put it on the deck rail and on a plastic yellow, shallow rimmed 'platter' that the birds seem to like.  They ate every morsel from yesterday.

In weather such as this, the margin of difference between surviving these cold temperature is measured in calories.  If you are interested in bird metabolism, you can find an interesting read here.

Help balance the metabolic out v. calorie in scales for the birds in your area.